going back to school after a break is like when you pause a video game to go pee and when you come back you forget how intense and chaotic everything was when you paused it and the second you unpause it all your enemies collectively punch you in the face
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
gentle reminder that cleopatra’s beauty is rumored to have started wars in ancient history
gentle reminder that people are evolving to be more and more attractive
gentle reminder that your beauty probably would have started at least 2 wars by now if you lived in 30 BC
wat a gently delivered compliment thank u